Somehow I succeeded in deleting the last post. Not sure how I did it but it is gone floating around in the cyber world never to be retrieved or at this point rewritten. We have had a busy weekend filled with a chess tournament, friends over and today sickies. Leo has learned to share. Unfortunately he shared his cold with at least half of us. Only Tyler, Jordan and I made it to church today.
We are in the home stretch of the school year. Jeremy only has 4 more classes to teach and we are in the final weeks of homeschooling. This has been an interesting few months as we adjusted to Jeremy being gone an extra night a week plus having the extra work load of preparing for class and grading papers. Life is definitely full but it is all good.
Sometimes I worry that we have spread ourselves too thin that maybe we have taken on too much.
I will be honest I would much rather be in my bed then waiting to start Leo's feeding pump for his last feed of the day. I would rather be sleeping then trying to convince a not so tired dog that it is not time to play but rather time to sleep. God has been working on my selfish heart. Teaching me that it is not about me. I often wish I lived back in the days of Little House on the Prairie where Ma, who didn't have a washing machine or dryer, didn't seem to get her feathers ruffled when the kids fell in the creek or went running through the muddy meadow. You never heard Ma Ingalls complain that Laura muddied up her floor (maybe there is something to having a dirt floor). How many times have I lost it over mud tracked into the house or literally over spilled milk? Something gets spilled in this house at least one time a day. Leo's tube somehow comes unplugged at least once a week spilling formula onto the floor. It rains, mud enters the house on "not me" shoes. Yes, we have someone named "not me" living here.
The question I have to ask myself on a daily basis is - "What do I want my kids to remember about their childhood?" Do I want them to remember me yelling over spilled milk? OR Do I want them to remember that mom didn't sweat the small stuff. She showed grace. Now, I can guarantee that by noon tomorrow, no make it by 9:00 AM, someone will have spilt something in our house. The question is how will I react to the spill. I can say, that if I get to bed in the next 15 minutes and everyone sleeps through the night that I will most likely react in a gracious way, BUT if Leo is up and down all night and I don't get sleep- then I just might be cranky and spilt milk might just push me over the proverbial edge. The thing is that isn't how it should be. No matter my mood, no matter how much sleep I get, my reaction to a spill should be full of grace. I should let it go. I should see it for what it is-- a spill that needs to be cleaned up. My prayer as I go to sleep tonight is that with God's help- I will pass the spilt milk test even it I must take it at an early hour.