This is one of those posts where I know what I am supposed to think and do, but hey, I'm only human and sometimes (ok, a lot of times) I struggle. Last week we were informed that Leo's birth parent's rights will be terminated in January. We know the specific date. We are not supposed to go to court. Leo's birth mom and birth father do not need to go to court. In fact, only our lawyer needs to show up. Leo's birth mom signed papers placing Leo for adoption back in May. This is the formality of the judge officially terminating the rights. After this occurs, our lawyer will enter our intention to adopt.
This is where my mind goes down hill fast! Formality or not- the fact remains this would be the easiest time for his birth mom to change her mind and perhaps convince a judge to give her custody. I doubt this will happen. Our Social Worker assures me this most likely won't happen and even if it did - I am reminded she did already sign papers. But like I said- I struggle. I admit it will be a struggle for me to not worry until I hear from our lawyer saying everything went well in court in January.
My mind has wandered to the story of the two moms in I Kings 3: 16-27. It was the mom who chose life for the baby boy who Solomon deemed the "real" mom. This mom wasn't selfish. She would rather see her son raised by someone else then see him killed. She thought of her son before her own wants or needs. She was willing to give her son life even if it meant a life not with her. It says she was deeply moved out of love for her son.
This mom reminds me of Leo's mom. She made the greatest sacrifice in realizing she could not give Leo the care he needed/deserved. She thought of Leo's needs above her own desires. How easy would it have been for her to raise Leo, but she knew that he needed more then she could give. He needed more then love. I know she was deeply moved out of love for her son (Leo) and that is why she chose adoption.
Don't worry, I am not going to try and compare myself to the other mom in this story. We will just focus on the mom who chose life. What do I do with all of this? It spurs me on to provide the best possible care for Leo. If we only provide love then we are not doing anything his birth mom couldn't do. Leo has a complicated medical history. One that is demanding and requires lots of appointments and therapies. It is our responsibility to both Leo and his birth mom to provide him with the best medical care possible and all the therapies he needs. This can be tiring and draining, but it is what we need to do. It is what we do for our children. It is what I do for my son, Leo.
So, if we were seated in a room and someone asked for Leo's "real" mom to stand- there would be two of us standing. For we both are his real mom- our love and care just looks different.
Totally unrelated note- could I ask you to pray for Jonathan. He has been spiking a really high fever all weekend and having coughing fits. I took him to the doctor and he is having bronchial spasms. He should be better in a few days, once it runs its course and they gave him an inhaler which should help. Please also pray no one else gets it- especially Leo. Any virus or bug that causes him to have difficulty breathing could land us in the hospital and there is of course the worry of Leo spiking a fever and having a seizure. I have been taking his temperature all day. Thank you for all your prayers for our family!