Frazzled

Some days I feel frazzled. As I sit browsing through a book on homeschooling your teenager, wonder how I am going to get Ben and Jonathan learning anything this year, and watch Leo's feeding tube drip, drip, drip, I can easily feel overwhelmed and wonder what are we doing! If I think ahead more then one day, I can't handle it. My brain literally hurts trying to keep straight all of Leo's appointments, as of now 2 surgeries, and at least 3 therapists coming to our house. Yesterday, our pediatrician recommended we go see yet another specialist. I wanted to ask if this specialist had hours between midnight and two because that was about all the time I had left. Add packing 8 people to go away on a vacation and I am extremely tempted to hide when it is time to leave and send Jeremy on his way with all the kids.

When we began this blog, it was kind of a diary of our journey to bring Jonathan home. We kept blogging. We contemplated stopping, but then someone would be encouraged by something and we would keep going. Because of contacts we have made in the adoption community, we have had the privilege of personally talking on the phone with 2 moms who after our phone conversation and reading our blog have decided to pursue adoption both of little boys missing a limb. It is so cool, that Jonathan has played a part in helping to bring more boys to their forever families.

We also tread a fine line between making adoption look easy and disclosing the reality of everyday life with 6 kids, one with multiple special needs and one who needs to learn to use his prosthetic leg better so he can meet his goal of playing soccer in a month- (yikes, better give that a higher priority).

There is no way we can do this all by ourselves. I throw up my hands at least once a day and call out to God asking for His help. We are so thankful for all the family and friends God has placed in our lives for this season. Both have been invaluable in helping to watch kiddos while I take Leo on a doctor's appointments, watching all the kids so Jeremy and I could go out of a date :), and providing moral and prayer support.

Most days life is full, it is not an easy road we are currently walking. We don't pretend to have it all together, but I wouldn't trade this time and season for anything. It is hard, but we know this place of hard is where God wants us right now. This is the place where we are learning to depend on Him on a deeper level. If life was easy, we may lose the urgency to cry out to God. This road is causing us to focus on the here and now, to not look ahead, but rather like the Israelites, to be thankful for the manna we have been given for today. I realize today's manna will not feed me tomorrow. Tomorrow, I must trust God to send me more manna and I must seek Him to find it.

No, adding to your family is not easy, but when your 10 year old gives you a card that thanks you for adopting 2 boys- you know you must be on the right track. And so we keep chugging on taking one day at a time.

Official Placement Day- July 20, 2011