Our month began with Amanda starting 9th grade at Neshaminy High School. So far so good although it has been a learning experience for all of us as this is our first "traditional" school experience with all of our kids. For me it has been an experience in giving up control and learning trust. For the last 14 years I have had complete control of Amanda's life and schooling (or at least I thought I did :). I have been able to adjust her schooling to her learning style. I have been able to speed up the learning process or slow it down as necessary. For the most part, I (as teacher) determined the grades. We could easily retake a test or drop the lowest score. Amanda has always scored very well on the standardized testing and was usually above grade level so we really were not too worried about her performing well academically. I guess the key word in the last sentence is performing. We are being reminded school is 99% about performing and meeting the expectations of 7 different teachers. I am not there holding her hand through the day. I am not there to speak up on her behalf during each class. I am learning to let go and trust. Trust Amanda to to make good choices. Trust Amanda to speak up when needed. Trust her to talk to her teachers when necessary. Unfortunately, I can be a slow learner and so to be completely honest we have had some rough days as we learn how to navigate this new chapter in our family. On the upside, Amanda is loving the whole school experience and perhaps adjusting better then her mom.
Next up was Jordan's10th birthday! Double digits. Jordan is such a great, easy going kid. We began his birthday with breakfast in bed. Homemade pancakes with sprite. Jordan's best friend Nate slept over and we headed to the Lego Discovery Museum for the day. Everyone had a great time. It was the perfect way to celebrate Jordan's birthday as he loves legos. We ended the day at the Chinese Buffet. According to Jordan- this was the best birthday ever.
This month has been challenging for me. Finding a new way of relating to Amanda and her schooling, homeschooling the 4 school age boys, and working with Leo and managing his 5 weekly therapist visits for him. Each child is also involved in other activities like music lessons and chess club. We are learning to manage what can be a busy schedule at times.
On Saturday, I participated in the Mudderella. This was a six mile course that consisted of 15 obstacles. I was part of a team of 19 individuals. I have never, ever done anything like this in my entire life. I am not sure why I signed up for it except I gave into peer pressure? The best part was completing this course with some of the greatest women and a few men I know. The majority of us trained together before the big day. We had no idea what to expect but went into it with a sense of unity and that no matter what we were going to complete this course and not leave any man behind. I personally began the training feeling like a frumpy, 40 something, homeschooling mom of 6 who really had no business registering for this event. By the end of the course, I felt like I could take on the world. This course challenged me physically and mentally. There was one pivotal moment on the course. Up until this point the obstacles had been hard but not impossible for me. But then we came to the cargo net. One big cargo net suspended between 2 trees. Probably 10-15 feet high and it swayed back and forth as you climbed it. I was ok climbing up but once I got to the top I panicked. I froze. The net was swaying and I was expected to somehow swing my leg over the other side of the net and climb down that side. The net was filled with women (and men) climbing quickly up and over like it was nothing. I almost let fear win and was extremely tempted to climb back down, but here is where my team stepped in. Many were already on the other side. They realized I was heading into panic mode and they talked me over the net and down the other side. Once my body had somehow managed to climb over and I had my footing on the other side, I think I almost floated to the ground. To say I was happy when I hit the ground would be an understatement. I was so proud of myself for overcoming my fear. I couldn't stop smiling. The cargo net was about half way through the course. I went into this course wanting to challenge myself but also prepared to skip a few of the obstacles. I am proud to say I completed them all! I am still sore, but I am so thankful that I competed in the Mudderella with Team Determination. I will never forget this day and when life gets hard I know I will think back to those cargo nets.
Through all of this craziness God has been faithful. We are far from perfect parents (just ask my kids) but every so often God gives us confirmation that we are on the right track. We continue to seek God's will for our family. Not sure what the future holds, but we know God is walking each step, everyday beside us even when life is hard and/or crazy.
